Examine The Source When Getting Advice from “Friends and “Family”

Divorce is an occurrence shared, directly or indirectly, by a vast majority of our population. The legal system, however, is a process not well understood even by those who have had the misfortune to personally observe how it works. Most divorce lores, which are spread through the bar room, the hair salon, or the local gym, are attempts by those who have gone through the process to make sense out of their own experience. Although the myth may serve an important purpose for the myth-monger, remember that it is their experience, not yours; so try not to become beguiled, misled or trapped by them. The myth may be as much a product of a mythmaker’s interpretational self-absorption as it is an astute observation about the divorce process. It may be as much a result of their own conduct or unrealistic assumptions about the process as it is some other cause they wish to blame. The question, well what did you expect? is too seldom asked. The answer would usually be very revealing about the possible source of the emotion or judgment being passed on to you. The speaker may have woven a garment that hopefully fits them well and doesn’t shrink when exposed to the weather. Whey they are brought to you as gospel, however, always remember that the myth is not custom-fitted to your own experience. Try it on, but don’t assume it will fit. Give yourself credit. If nothing else, you are unique. Your experience will be your own, and it is likely to be unique to you. You wouldn’t wear their clothes, so why wear their ideas?